Death and Loss: Dealing with the Aftermath

Kenneth McWilliams
English 102
Professor Salsich
5/09/10


Most believe that from the moment we are born we begin to die. The realization of this fact does not, however, minimize the impact of losing a love one. Dealing with the aftermath of death is the underlying theme of the three poems discussed in this essay. Margaret Atwood, Canadian author and poet, reminisces about the details of her father as she adjusts to life without him in “Bored.” Additionally Emily Dickinson, critically acclaimed as a major American poet, describes the feelings after a loved one dies in “The Bustle in a House”. Lastly, Donald Hall, winner of two Guggenheim Fellowships and the Frost Medal, struggles with letting go in “Letter with no Address.”

In “Bored,” Atwood attempts to cope with the regret following the loss of her father by performing a series of actions. Initially, the loss causes her to reflect on the physical attributes of her father. She recalls “the blackish and then the graying bristles on the back of his neck,” they were more than a detail but an association with a happy moment they shared. Following an important revelation he shared with her about her life, she remembers “the whorled texture of his square finger, earth under the nail.” Additionally, she remembers the moments they shared together. “Holding the log while he sawed” was an insignificant event in itself, however, it was important to her psyche because she assisted him. This was also evident as she talks about “holding the string while he measured, boards, distances between things, or pounded stakes into the ground.” Her last coping method involves her transformation from child to adult. She initially “could hardly wait to get the hell out of there” comparing her life to animals “[spending] most of their time at, ferrying sand, grain by grain […] in their burrows.” As an adult and experiencing this loss she concludes, “Now I wouldn’t be bored. Now I would know too much. Now I would know.” Atwood’s steps to deal with the regret she felt following the loss of her father were necessary for her healing process; just as this poem.

Similarly, Emily Dickinson’s poem “The Bustle in a House,” describes the stages of adjustment many observe following the death of a loved one. First stage is the feeling of emptiness following the death. Ironically, Dickinson uses the statement “bustle in a house” to describe the next day following the news of the death. Remembering the loved one creates a void in the life of the author that is transferred to her surroundings. The second stage, following the realization that the loved one is gone, is the routine it takes. She describes this as the “solemnest of industries” suggesting that dealing with this is like going to a job; a necessary evil. An industry or routine that she expands to the world, as revealed in her statement “enacted on earth.” Lastly, she rationalizes that a regrouping is required to deal with the loss. Regrouping requires “sweeping up the heart” that is broken into pieces from this loss. Followed by “putting love away” that was felt for the person not “to use again until eternity.” The stages described in this poem, suggest a pattern followed by the author to deal with the death of someone loved.


Likewise, Donald Hall takes steps to cope with the emotions following the death of his wife. Initially he manages the emotion by remembering his deceased wife. Every memory is of upmost importance during this phase, such as how she looked “astonishing in the long box” before she was laid to rest. Helping his wife when she could no longer help herself was another important memory that he would “play […] over and over.” Another technique he used in coping was remembering the times they shared together. One of his most cherished moments was “watching [her] gaze out the January window into the garden of snow and ice” as they worked on poems. Even “coming back home” he would keep her memory alive imagining she “returned before [him], bags of groceries upright in the back of the Saab.” Furthermore, he honors her memory by not letting go of her. This is demonstrated by the details surrounding his graveyard visits, as illustrated in his statement “three times today I drove to your grave.” Additionally, he “drive[s] and talk[s] to [her] crying” returning home just “to talk to [her] photograph.” Obviously, the author felt that the steps necessary to deal with the loss of his wife involved keeping her memory alive.


The strong emotion surrounding death has been the topic of preachers, psychics, song writers, and poets for centuries. Atwood’s “Bored,” deals with regret following the loss of a loved one and how she grapples with her feelings. In “The Bustle in a House” Dickinson describes the process of adjustment following a loss of a loved one. Similarly, Hall exhibits a huge loss following his wife’s death and manages his grief by keeping her memory alive. Just as these poets, death can even affect a perfect man, following the death of Lazarus the apostle John writes in chapter 11:35 “Jesus wept.”